6:43 p.m. - 13 May 2004
Grandmere
May 14: See below for an update
My grandmother has been in poor health for the last several years; most of her problems stem from renal disease, especially since one of her kidneys stopped functioning when she was pretty young. They also think she has Pick's Disease, which is a form of dementia, although that was only mentioned as a possible diagnosis pretty recently.
She fell last week and broke her pubic bone. My grandfather has emphysema and is on oxygen pretty much full-time, so he had to call a neighbor to help get her up. She was in the hospital all of last week, and it was clear that she really wasn't doing well. On Saturday, she was moved to a rehab facility, with the thought that they'd re-evaluate her mental status and my aunt and uncle (Dad's sister and brother) would make some decisions.
She had another evaluation Tuesday, and my aunt and uncle who have powers of attorney decided to discontinue her dialysis. Her last treatment was Monday, and she was combative then, pulling the tubes out. At this point, it's a matter of time, so my parents headed to see them yesterday.
I've spoken to my OB, and she has flat out advised against traveling. I'm not terribly surprised, since I'm now more than 33 weeks and it's a six hour drive from here.
My grandmother is one of the most remarkable women I've ever known. She was a working mother when such a thing was nearly unheard of and did pretty much whatever she wanted to do. She traveled all over, either with a friend or two or with groups of other senior citizens, since my grandfather is a homebody. When I was 15, she took me to New Orleans so that I could take the contestant quiz for the Jeopardy Teen Tournament. It remains one of the best trips I've ever taken.
I'm the oldest grandchild on this side of the family, and her first name is my middle name. We have similar tastes in many things, and she was always on the lookout for books that she thought I'd enjoy. Her last gift to me was a set of first editions of both volumes of Mastering the Art of French Cooking by Julia Child, and I can't even tell you on how many levels they're appropriate.
It's been an emotional couple of days, not helped at all by the surge of pregnancy hormones in these last few weeks before my son is born. I'm very disappointed that he will never get to know what a wonderful person my Grandmere is, and that she will never get a chance to see him. But most of all, I'm sorry that I won't get to say goodbye.
14 May 2004:Grandmere died around 9:30 this morning. At this point, that's pretty much all I know. I miss her terribly already.
